Long Distance Relationship Tips to Bring You Success

No matter who you are, being in a long distance relationship (LDR) is another level of commitment. If you have doubts about the relationship you are in, an LDR probably isn't for you.

I don't mean small, general insecurities about the future. Specifically, I am referring to the possibility that you have ideas about the person not being "the one" for you. This is very important, because who wants to commit time and energy to an LDR that isn't founded on mutual long-term intentions? Really, that's a bit masochistic.

The following can be used to help bring success to any LDR, whether you are a couple hours drive, across a country, or on opposite sides of the globe. To be upfront, my experience is with an international LDR, and during the course of this relationship we have endured across ten time zones, from Thailand to Brazil.

The most important thing to focus on is effectively doing things that create the feeling of minimized distance. These efforts need to create an experience as similar to being together as possible.

One thing that my girlfriend and I did was watch movies together, which is a really common way to share time in a relationship. Modern technology and increasing internet speeds have brought a really fun and authentic experience to having a movie date with your partner, even when you are apart.

We would use Skype screen share while playing a movie, then turn up the volume so the microphone would pick up the audio for the person who isn't hosting the film.

Obviously this isn't as good as curling up with your lover on the couch, but since you can do this on a tablet or laptop, there is no reason why you can't find a comfy spot and feel a little more like you are. Also, Skype still allows you to see the other person, as long as you have video enabled, so you can see their reactions during the film, and chat along the way (if talking during movies is your thing).

The next thing we found really helpful is to send letters and postcards when you go to a different city, even when the city isn't far from where you live. It feels really good to get something tangible that indicates your partner is thinking about you, and put in time and energy to be thoughtful.

Postcards I sent to Luísa while we were apart

When I was in Thailand, and would take little trips around the region, I would send postcards and describe what I was doing and describe things she would like and explain how much her presence would enhance the experience. She still refers to this as one of the most valuable things that let her know I had her on my mind and heart. After I came back to California, I continued this practice when I went around the state.

Obviously, communication is paramount in an LDR, so share your experiences and keep the person in the loop about the things you are doing, especially nights out. Take photos and send them with WhatsApp, LINE messenger, or even an email. Anyone in a LDR can tell you that a plethora of insecurities can blossom from a lack of communication when your partner is out drinking.

A selfie at the bar with some friends hardly takes time at all, and can offer some solace to your partner, as long as it isn't offering a reason for their imagination to run wild.

Another expression of commitment, and great way to spend time together when you are apart, is a virtual date nights.  These are commonly referred to as Skype dates, but they don't always have to be a video chat. Just setting aside time when you will sit in private without distractions and talk on the phone (international relationships should consider Viber or MagicJack) shows your partner you want to spend time with them, and are willing to make time in your schedule that is only for the two of you. It tells your partner, "Having you in my routine is important."

It is important to tell the other that stuff would be better with them by your side. Extinguish the insecurity of what could be happening in the place where your partner isn't by indicating how strongly you feel that the experiences are much more enjoyable when they are there.

Another extremely important element to an LDR is the expiration date for the distance. This is of utmost importance for anyone in international LDRs.

Even if you don't have a ticket to fly to your lover, have a general estimation of date, week, or month for the end of the separation so that the two of you may focus on the light at the end of the tunnel.

Lastly, make plans about things you can do once you are together again. Even if it is something that you did without your partner, but you really enjoyed it, express your desire for sharing that experience with them and observing their joy the same way that you felt it when you did it without them.

Aside from these great tips, which helped us succeed, there is is heaps more you can do. For example, content sharing, like articles and goofy stuff you know your partner will enjoy, is a great way to enhance your LDR.

If you have any questions about LDRs, have some helpful tips that brought/is bringing you success in your LDR which aren't included above, or any other positive message about bringing success to LDRs, leave a comment below.